I'm aware of how this title might read. It might stir up confusion, resistance and pressure. It's something, I've been playing with this year, and no. I've not perfected it. I doubt I ever will.
We are bombarded every day with things to do, and there must be a part of us that judges all those actions and goals, an inner score system we didn't ever really sign up for. But is part of being human and definitely part of being in the West.
This might kick in during our day, from how well we are efficiently ploughing through our to-do list, or to how well we've arranged the scatter cushions on the sofa (just me?).
I have old patterns of judgement that are sadly, deep-rooted, and I'm sure many of you can relate to them. I turn judgement on my body, my skin, my fitness, my health... just to name a few. This week, I have felt a bit blerg. Injuring my toe has meant I can't move in the way I need to feel good; I can't dance every Monday, go to my yoga class on Thursday and even swimming has taken on a strange shape of flapping about while I drag my feet behind me, not the best Ariel impression I'm sure.
I caught myself, doing my yoga practice and berating my body. I took a sharp breath in, and said 'Replace judgement with curiosity'... When I remind myself of this, I start to make friends with my body again, I change the language and find strength again within myself. I can write this story, not let the external narrative make an impression on my self-worth.
So, with this changed view, I started noticing, my breath, how my right shoulder felt different to my left, I noticed my core strength and how my spine was moving, the length of my breath filling my lungs, I noticed the sounds outside and my own heart. How wonderful it is when we start to explore...
How tough these voices of judgement can be, how loud and mean. We all have different journeys, careers and perhaps you've heard things said about you, or that scrolling on social media has left a bit of an imprint. You will always be told you're not enough, because that's how they make you spend money. (read that again).
I have fallen victim to the 'not enough', to the pressure of needing to change so I'll become worthy, oh so many times.
Let me tell you something. YOU. ARE. WORTHY. Just as you are.
I try to tread very carefully as I run a wellness business, my heart is true and I mean well when I hold space, ... But I know how the murky waters of the wellness industry can dilute the pure meaning of enlightenment from the East.
I read so many harmful messages online, linked to yoga, meditation, all of it...
Yoga posts that encourage you to get bikini ready, what does that even mean? 'Sit lower in chair pose, it is bikini season after all' ARG, I want to throw my phone across the room. You have a body. You put on a bikini. That is enough. You feel the warmth on your skin, the sea in your hair, the hope of summer in your heart. I have realised I'm digressing into a rant. But it upsets me.
Actually, it breaks my heart, that we have started allowing this idea of perfection to slip into yoga... of course, we want to strive to move through our practice, seeing improvements, overcoming challenges and finding more peace. But I want this to be from a place of passion, determination, inner strength and desire. Not the dark voices of not enough...
When we explore with curiosity any practice, we have an immediate connection with joy, playfulness, and fun.
If I attempt to do a strong practice because I've been told I'm not thin enough, it will probably be the hardest and worst yoga hour of my life. However, if I'm guided with care and attention to the breath, given the space to notice my emotions, spoken to in Sanskrit and reminded of the 8 limbs, koshas, and chakras. I will probably move with more enthusiasm, hold postures for longer and fill my heart up, with yes, self-worth and meaning.
So, I bring it to you. How are those voices of judgement, and do you want to give them energy and power?
Just see, for one week, you notice when a judgement comes through.. see where it lands, if it's true and if it's of use.
I'm not saying let yourself off the hook, we need to judge the things we do to grow and learn. But notice if it's true!
And rather than just ignoring it, what happens if you start inquiring with curiosity.. 'oh, I wonder why I did that', 'I wonder why I reacted that way', 'I wonder why I just talked to myself like that'.
This can also be transposed onto other moments in a day, when you move your body, when you use your voice, when you write a work report, when you greet a friend...
Keey on exploring, it's a gift given to children in abundance, and we seem to lose it as adults. So hey, keep on exploring this life we've been gifted.
Join Josephine this August, for a full day of self love: https://www.echoyogaandsound.com/event-details/day-retreat
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