Finding A Lesson In Everything...

Is it healthy, is it a habit, is it eternal optimism or hope?

A Sneak Peek Through the Window Of The Hayloft Studio

After such a huge transition, I find myself not only reflecting but living the lesson I am once again learning. Do we complete lessons, or like cyclical living, do they swing back round to haunt us if we've unfinished business?

I sat, watching a movie, restless. Surrounded by boxes. Trying to be ok with the quiet before the storm(moving day). Moving home has been emotional, but I am an emotional person. That watery energy pulling me through everything I do in life.

Just before I moved, there was a no (wo)man's land, a quiet space for reflection, but also the business of packing, readying myself, all while navigating not being able to find the colander.

When you lift yourself from one home to another, there is a space, a liminal void of uprooting. Your old home has gone, (it's quite remarkable how I felt the cord cut so suddenly and ultimately), but you arrive in this new space that isn't yet yours. I drifted around doing what I had to do, all while in a quiet disbelief that I managed to pull this off. But oh, how these huge moments are brought to test us, our routine falls by the wayside, our mental health is tested and old habits not only die hard but rise with fresh vigour and enthusiasm.

Aromatherapy, Sage, Tea, Lights and home.

I found (and still find myself), completely overwhelmed with how much I had to do. My perfectionism and OCD tendencies felt all-encompassing, living in a home where so much needs doing. My attention would shift, split and dance as I moved through the first few days, only resting when I physically couldn't do more. I stood in front of my yoga class, telling them the importance of rest, all while I myself, with knowing, would not.

I am only a month here, I am writing like it has been a year! But last week I afforded myself some rest, it has come with yoga nidra and my ballet classes that bring such sweet distraction. It's come from my partner, who notices when I am getting burnt out or might need support.

But I wondered about this, how sometimes your superpower can tip into the 'dark side'. I guess, I would quietly like to think that I am a creative person, I love a project, to dream, have a vision, action it, apply myself and see it through. But sometimes, when we do dream, imagine or see things so clearly, it can be hard to sit in the space as it currently is. The discomfort of trying to hold the 'not so perfect'.

There's no place like home.

I am impatient; if I can see something clearly I want to make it happen. Is it ego? is it drive? is it a distraction from emotion and self-care?

Yes, probably all of the above. But I also found a hardness here, a deep fear of things failing. Of not being enough. Will they come? Was this decision right? Will my home spaces be good enough?

I can find myself on social media comparing, seeing others with huge converted barns, expensive gongs adorning the walls, people with the most elaborate crystal bowls etc.

In my heart, I know, that all I can be is authentic, and I also have a budget! As much as the toxic wellness industry would probably tell me 'You are setting limitations to your abundance!', but truthfully, I have found home, and hope. I can finally bring that feeling of safety, deep rest and magic. An offering in the corner of Rustington/Littlehampton. As I start guiding my personal bookings from the Hayloft I am filled with such gratitude, the space is soft, warm, humble and so peaceful. I am home.

I'm not sure this article will make sense. I am exhausted if I'm honest. But I wanted to cobble some words together, to help me process the last few weeks and I guess few years. I've been dreaming of this new home and this new chapter of my business for a while.

But I'll swing back to the initial question. I realise that as our lives evolve, there are lessons everywhere if we want to keep learning. Not from judgement, but from growth, self-compassion and acceptance. The burning desire for improvement, the impatience, the exhaustion, the worry, are all parts of me, but they are parts that need tending, and re-learning. So from the lessons, old or new, we reach for answers. What do I need right now? What is the underlying message or story being told.

So, on reflection, what lessons are you currently learning or maybe ignoring, how can you meet your lesson with acceptance and compassion, and what do you need?

I am so grateful for the 20 plus clients who have booked 1-2-1's with me since I moved into the new space, I cannot express the gratitude I feel.

Book A 1-2-1 with Josephine Today while her brilliant Winter is running!